Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
