you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
