so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
