Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She bit a glass in half.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
