a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
