Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
