Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
