i already hear my dad disowning me
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
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no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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