i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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