I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
