I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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