you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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