first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
