PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
