I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Girls should come with a carfax report
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
