Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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