try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
