dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
