Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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