can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
