so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
