This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
