he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
