Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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