I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
