Yo dont text me then not text me
Nicole vs. Life
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
