This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
