69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
