im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You are the jesus of drinking
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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