Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize