WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
