i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
