You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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