Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
