i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
