I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The power of my boobs compel you
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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