consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
