The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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