Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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