Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
