Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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