I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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