sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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