My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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