Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so explain again why im purple
no
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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