it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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