Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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