College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
