Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
what is it with giant penises always finding me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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