she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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