watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
