Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize