This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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