Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
