I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
