im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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