I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize